Hope

In our children's ministry, we use a curriculum called 252 Basics put out by the reThink Group. I'd highly recommend it, by the way. Each month we have one "virtue" that we focus on, and the virtue for the month of March is hope (defined as "believing something good can come out of something bad"). The description of the virtue this month really was an encouragement to me, so I thought I'd share:

H-O-P-E. We toss that little word around kind of carelessly, as if it merely meant "wish" or "want" or "dream." I hope you had a good day. I hope I get that for my birthday. I hope we get to do ____ next year. But it's actually a much bigger and consequential word than that. At least it is for people who put their hope in God. And it needs to be. Because let's face it: life can be hard. As the kids in your ministry grow, they're going to face all sorts of challenges and heartaches. Whether it's as life-altering as the loss of a parent or something on a smaller scale, like not making the team, tragedy can take many forms in a child's life. When it seems like everything is going wrong, that's when it's critical to have hope--believing that something good can come out of something bad. That's when we need to understand that H-O-P-E, in its most significant sense and when it's based on God, is really a synonym for firm belief, absolute trust, and in-my-gut knowing:

* "Our Hope is certain. It is something for the soul to hold on to. It is strong and secure."
(Hebrews 6:19, NIrV)

* "I will find my rest in God alone. He is the One who gives me hope."
(Psalm 62:5, NIrV)

* "'I know the Plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
(Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

* "I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have Eternal life."
(1 John 5:13, NIV)


Our hope may be certain when it's placed in the all-powerful God of the universe, who makes good plans for us, not the least of which is eternal life with Him. But no one ever said hope is easy. So, when we're puzzled by life, pained by it, frustrated by it, angry at it, or can't see how in the world our situation could possibly fit in God's big plan (His giant jigsaw puzzle) we have a couple of choices: we can choose to get and stay mad about the puzzle pieces we're holding, or we can choose to trust God and let Him put the pieces in place. To trust that He not only has the big picture in mind, but that He's up to something bigger than just our few little pieces of the puzzle. Realizing that we can't see the big picture but that He can and He's in charge gives us hope.

Good news- finally!!!!!

Our agency was approved today by the CCAA to again participate in the Waiting Child program. They gained immediate access to the multiple-agency listing, and I have already called to find out whether they will be also receiving a "dedicated" waiting child listing (meaning that the files for these particular children would be available to only families logged in with our agency- as opposed to the multiple-agency listing which are children who are available for adoption to multiple agencies at the same time). 

We still can't submit our application yet. Not until they have referred out some of the 44 families currently on the list will they start accepting new applications, but I can use the time between now and then to fill out the application and have it all ready to go! I'd say within 6 months they'll be accepting new applications. (But, that's entirely a guess.)

So, that's progress I guess. It was encouraging news for sure!

The Real Deal

This was in my e-mail in box this morning. You may not relate to it all, but if you are like me at all, some of these will really speak to you. I know that with God's help I want to be the real deal.
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I want to be a member of the Real Deal Club.
I want to be authentic on the inside and outside.
I want my actions to match my words.
I want to get out of the center of my own universe.
I want to lay down my agenda in favor of what God is doing.
I want to treat people better than they expect.
I want to get over it fast when someone does me wrong.
I want to be in secret what I am in public.
I want to always remember that it’s not all about me.
I want to accept God’s forgiveness when I mess up.
I want to be able to laugh at myself.
I want to notice when someone else is hurting.
I want to talk to God and listen to what He says.
I want to relax and let God do the stuff I can’t do.
I want to stop occasionally and remember what is important.
I want to stop pushing my opinion on others.
I want to learn new ideas.
I want to enjoy making adjustments from failures.
I want to live like I believe God can do anything.
I want to stop being consumed by success.
I want to stop taking on burdens I can’t carry.
I want to do what is right even when it costs me.
I want to love people I don’t like.
I want to do what I say I will do.
I want to keep appropriate boundaries with the opposite sex.
I want to trust God without telling Him how to do things.
I want to keep from expecting more from people than they can do.
I want to read the Bible like God wrote it for me.
I want to own up quickly to my mistakes.
I want to stop living in the past.
I want to see the big picture.
I want to let go of small irritations.
I want to admit it when I don’t know something.
I want to let others succeed without being jealous.
I want to let others fail without being critical.
I want to be really happy when something good happens to someone else.
I want to try new ideas just for the fun of it.
I want to be secure with who God made me.
I want to be thankful for what God has done for me.
I want to be thankful for what I have.
I want to learn from others without feeling threatened.
I want to be peaceful.
I want to listen more than I talk.
I want to be interested in what interests others.
I want to learn to enjoy my work more.
I want to be a blessing to someone else when I can.
I want to face the future knowing my God has already been there.
I want to be the real deal.

- Roger Fields

A Question for You Southerners

 I spent the last week almost as sick as Sawyer is now. Poor kid. He finished one round of antibiotics for a "severe" ear infection on Friday morning, Saturday morning he started complaining of a sore throat. When his temp hit 102 last night, we figured we should bring him in this morning. Lo, and behold, he now has a "raging" ear infection. (The Dr was completely surprised by the fact that he had not once complained of ear pain. ) So, he is starting round 2 of antibiotics, and his fever is up to 103.9. He's miserable.

Chloe is halfway through a round of antibiotics for a sinus infection, I'm halfway through round 2 of antibiotics for a sinus infection (and I also had this fever/chills/aches/exhaustion thing Sawyer has which was NO fun), and Scot just started an antibiotic as well for some infection (I missed that part). He's also having the fever/chills thing. 

So.....my question is.........does this happen to y'all in the winter too? Do you just get overcome with constant sickness all winter long? Do you spend February counting the days till Mother's Day (the date that is rumored to be the beginning to good health for all up here). Or is this just a blessing that living in New England brings (along with 5 feet of snow and subzero temperatures)?

Since the beginning of December, I could count on two hands the days we've had where all 4 of us were completely healthy. It's just crazy. We've had bad winters before sickness-wise, but never like this. This is just insane. (In defense of New England, we appear to be in the unlucky minority. Lots of people are sick, but we somehow hit the sickness lottery this year. Maybe because this is Sawyer's first year in school?)

Do you think it is too soon to sell our house and move to New Mexico? I'm currently longing to live in the desert. I'm thinking it's too hot for germs to survive there.

Wordless Tuesday

(alliteration is over-rated!)

HEEEELLLLLLLPPPP!

Please.....will someone tell me what will finally stop my kids from tattling!?!?!? I'm losing my mind.

Random Stuff

So, it's morning now and I have more to say. Maybe yesterday I had just used up my allotment of words for the day or something. (It's like seeing a meteor shower or a falling star- it may not ever happen again, so cherish it while it lasts! Even if it only lasted a mere 12 hours.) :)

Here's a bunch of random stuff:

We went out for Chinese to celebrate Chinese New Year. I know, it was a kind of cliche way to celebrate, but it was all we managed this year. Anyway, when we were there, chloe ate her entire dinner with chopsticks. I was floored. I could barely pick up anything. I'm sure her technique wasn't right, but she would not give up. By the end of the meal, it was like no big deal. It was crazy!

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If you love new worship music for your kids, you must check out Amber Sky Records. Their music is excellent! It is put out by the reThink group who publishes our children's ministry curriculum. The curriculum is excellent, and there music is some of the best worship music out there for kids, in my opinion. I downloaded a bunch of songs, and my kids listen to them nonstop. The truths are stated so simply- they are great songs to be stuck in your kids minds all day! I particularly recommend Yabba Dabba and 2 by 2 for preschoolers (although Sawyer loves them too). How can you go wrong with lyrics like this:

Yabba dabba cock-a-doodle-do
I know Jesus loves you
Yabba dabba cock-a-doodle-dee
I know that Jesus loves me

As an added bonus, for many songs you also get a lyrics sheet that explains the motions to the song.

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Adoption update: There is a lot to say here, and quite frankly, I don't want to say any of it. After lots of thinking, prayer, and conversations with several different agencies, we have come to the conclusion that we are going to stay with our agency. This is not because our feelings and opinions regarding our agency have improved at all. Nor has the reality of our situation with them at the moment.

However, in a conversation with a woman at one agency which has an excellent reputation, she advised us to really pause. In her experience, she said she would be concerned that the CCAA would "red flag us" (my term, not hers- but it is the best way I can explain it)- meaning that they would not let us re-LID because they would have concerns about how serious we actually were about adoption seeing as we pulled our dossier just a couple months previously. She felt the CCAA would see this as trying to get around their rules (even if our reason for switching was completely legit by American standards). She said that they may very well just log us back in, no problem, but if they remembered our names/faces whatever, we may have trouble.

Now, I started my conversation with her saying that I was wanting to leave our agency and that I was planning to go to another agency, not her agency, but that I wanted to ask her a question for which I had conflicting answers (how long pulling our dossier would take). She wanted to TALK to me (how strange considering our agency). She kept me on the phone for well over 30 minutes, listening to me, empathizing with me (I didn't realize people at agencies DID that!!!), and really talking me through all aspects of our decision- even though she knew up front that what I did wouldn't benefit her or her agency either way!!!!! She was maybe the kindest perfect stranger at an agency we have encountered since we began this whole process.

But, after my conversation with her, we were completely unsettled. The bottom line (without spelling out all the circles of thought we walked through over the next couple days), is that we simply cannot risk it. Even though it may be no problem, we can't take the chance. I would be a basket case waiting and wondering. China is just too random about the way they deal with stuff, and this woman's concerns made PERFECT sense to us.

But, I'm a people pleaser, and I knew how many people thought that us switching was absolutely what we should do......so the decision was a tough one. In the end, we had to make the decision that was right for us right now. And, when I'm honest with myself, I know that is absolutely the right decision, because I am still trying to figure out how to manage working part-time (in ministry which, I'm realizing, is never part-time) while still being a half-decent mom and wife. I've dissolved into tears in public at awkward moments more times in the last 6 months than I'd care to recount from simply being overwhelmed. I'm realizing that I have limits and I can't do everything to the standard of perfection I often hold myself to. (Yes, I realize this is only news to me and to no one else.)

Anyway, all that to say that I knew that starting a dossier from scratch would simply sink me right now. I couldn't do it. On any given day I'm failing at one thing or another. Adding another HUGE thing to my plate right now would be a disservice to my husband, my kids, the ministry God has given to me, and MYSELF.

But, knowing you are making the right decision doesn't mean it is the decision you want to make (Jonah, anyone?) and it doesn't make it easy.

I'm holding on to the hope that our agency will indeed get their waiting child program up and running, that we will get on their list, and that within two years we can still have a referral. That's hard to think when it would be much sooner if we had logged in with another agency, but I can't what if myself to death. We're moving forward making the best decision we can with the facts we have now.

I'm confident this is the right decision for us, so I know God has the rest under control. I am trusting in that right now.

No Title

The lack of title for this post really says it all.

Do you ever have so much to say that you don't want to say anything? That's me right now. So much to say, and I just don't feel like saying anything. That's a problem when you have a blog! :) So, I've just been avoiding my blog for a few days. I'll be back soon, and I'll have lots to fill you in on.

right now, I'll just share the picture of Chloe's "Fancy Nancy" birthday cake. Actually, it's cupcakes (because I always mess up cake). It was really hard to make it all fancy since I have a lot in common with Fancy Nancy's rather plain mom), but I was rather pleased with the result.


Oh, and I'll throw in a book recommendation for you: We are All Born Free. It is a beautifully illustrated, kid-friendly version of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It's definitely one to check out!