Have you all read today's post over at the Rumor Queen?
I don't want to get embroiled in the discussion going on over there. I actually didn't even look, but I'm fairly certain that it's messy.
But, can we start a discussion about it here? Because, honestly, I'd love to get 6 or 7 of us prospective adoptive parents or adoptive parents who also happen to have a strong faith to discuss this topic....preferably we'd be sitting in Starbucks sipping a hot beverage and enjoying each other's company. However, I'll sip my hot beverage here as I read your thoughts/opinions/experiences. Can that count? :)
So, here are my not-well-thought-out, off-the-top-of-my-head thoughts......and PLEASE feel free to disagree with me. I have thick skin.
This isn't something I would say anyway. I agree with the RQ and can see how that would be inherently hurtful. However, I also understand that God does have a plan- he doesn't cause these things in our lives, but He does redeem them for His purposes. I believe that the loss of ones birth parents isn't God's plan at all, but that that happens sometimes as a result of all kinds of circumstances. So, how do you say that without making your child feel like your family is Plan B for them? How do you, as a Christian parent help your child understand the two sides of this strange coin: no, God did not cause your separation from your birth parents- that broke his heart; but that also yes, God had a plan to bring you into our family after that happened- all while not making it seem like this new family was the plan B or lesser choice.
UGH....I don't feel like I am explaining this well at all.
I guess the crux of this is what do you say to a confused and possibly broken-hearted 5 year old who asks about his/her adoption in a way that tells the truth and encourages faith without ending up with a child who is mad at God. I can see how you cold go into the depths of apologetics and the results of sin in the world with a teenager, but what do you say to a 5 year old?
How can we as Christian adoptive parents reconcile the reality of our children's losses with faith in a Sovereign God? At age 3, 7, 12, 15, and beyond? I guess that's what I'm asking.
I don't have an answer here, but I'm hoping some discussion will help me decide what I think is right.....that plus a ridiculous amount of prayer that God would give me the words when these questions come up.
Can't wait to hear what you all have to say!