Big birthday plans!

I'm going to be 30.......{ahem}....something....... {none of your business}.....in November, and I thought that this required a very exciting celebration.

So, what exactly will I be doing on my birthday this year?

I'l be sitting in my hotel room in Guangzhou, China surrounded by my husband and THREE kids waiting to hear how our Consulate appointment turned out! :)

Couldn't have planned it better myself! Now, can someone suggest an appropriate way to celebrate in Guangzhou?

We leave for China on November 2nd and come home just in time to give thanks for all that God has done for us.

Our Story Part 7: Anatomy of a Referral

Anatomy is a class no one ever wants to take because it is long and boring.....wwwwaaaayyyy too much detail to remember.

Well, let me tell you. Here is the story of our referral, and it's called "anatomy" of a referral for a reason. I just wanted to remember every little detail, and I couldn't bring myself to leave any of it out. So, grab some coffee or something. And if you have ADD, I'm sorry. This is my journal, and I want to remember every bit of the anatomy of these days of my life.

-------------------------------

It all started with an e-mail.

On July 9th, my dear, dear friend, Kelly, sent me an e-mail at 1:55PM with the subject line "Evan" that said this:

Hi Jenna, I've been thinking about you. I got an email from a yahoo group

that said a number of New Day's kids are on the shared list right

now and still waiting for their families. One of those kids is Evan.

I have been involved with New Day for a long time, and we love the work they do. This e-mail immediately caught my attention. We pray for the New Day kids DAILY, and so I e-mailed her back immediately asking for more info. What's strange as I look back now is that she specifically mentions "Evan", like we had talked about him previously or something? Weird, because we hadn't. Anyway, she forwarded me the message Amy, from Lifeline Children's Services, had posted on the Yahoo group advocating for these kids.

I went to New Day's website to check out the bios of the kids to get an idea of what their needs were. I knew it would give me an idea if any of them had needs we felt we could handle. At first glance, the answer was "No".

But, I kept wondering why Evan's name was ringing a bell for me.

Since late 2009, I have been volunteering for New Day editing some of their sponsorship updates. Basically, I am assigned several kiddos, and every month when their nannies or foster moms write their monthly updates, I edit them for flow and grammar stuff after they have been translated from Chinese. I can say that it has been completely my honor to be able to help New Day in this small, small way. I look forward to the 18th of every month to read the updates, and had come to call the group of boys I edited for "My New Day Kids". I asked to have pictures of them so I could try to keep each of the boys straight.

And, each month as I typed out each edited update, I would pray for those boys. Mostly, as I read how sweet and charming each boy was and as I got to know their personalities, I would pray that God would match each boy with their family....and soon!

Anyway, after I checked out the kiddos on New Day's site, Evan's name was still nagging in my head. I all of a sudden realized that I might know why. I went back and checked my most recent sponsorship updates, and lo and behold, I had been editing Evan's sponsorship updates for more than 6 months.

And, I had been praying for him every month......to find a family willing to bring him home.

(Here is where I warn you to be careful what you pray for, because in praying for someone to go, God may very well be preparing your heart to be the one to go! :) )

Scot was working from home that day and was sequestered in our room in the middle of a conference call. No matter, I ran right up the stairs, barged in, quickly gestured to make sure the phone was on mute, and I blurted out, "One of the boys I write the sponsorship updates for at New Day is on the shared list right now! I am going to print out his picture and his bio and bring it up to you."

In hindsight, that might NOT have been the best plan, but.......I was not thinking at this point, I was reacting.

You see, Evan's bio said he had been "quite cyanotic" even to the point of having difficulty eating during his first year of life before his heart surgery. Those are not words comforting to the heart of a prospective adoptive father who has a history of being quick to get scared. (That's not me judging, I swear....just keep reading, you'll see.)

Scot looked at me like I had lost my ever-loving marbles, and said, "Jenna, this sounds really serious." I told him he had had his surgery already and seemed to be doing well.

I then went downstairs and pulled up all the sponsorship updates I had edited for the last 6 months, cut and pasted all of Evan's updates onto one document, and ran upstairs to give it to Scot (still pretending to be on a conference call! :) ). (Thank you, Lord, for knowing we'd need this anticdotal information to see our son and not his medical need, and for providing it for us in such a wonderful way!)

I said quite casually, "Oh, he's perfect for our family- he loves Tom and Jerry!" (Our kids love Tom and Jerry, and you know how having similar TV interests is often a great way to see if a child fits in your family! ;) ) It was a silly little thing, but I think it's the moment Scot decided to look at Evan's file.

It was the week before Camp KidsWay (our church's version of VBS kinda), and for me that means being OUT STRAIGHT. It had been a busy few weeks, and we had not enjoyed much summer yet. So, I had plans that afternoon to turn it ALL OFF that afternoon and go to my parents house down the road with Scot and the kids and just swim and enjoy some time with them.

It didn't work out that way.

Kelly sent her original e-mail at 1:55pm on a Friday afternoon.

The rest of the afternoon was met with discussion by Scot and I (which was pretty casual if I recall, and that's ALL I recall......), and at some point, he must have given me the green light to lock his file so we could review his medical records.

My next e-mail to Kelly was at 4:32 pm telling her we were going to try to see if Evan was still on the shared list and if he was, we were going to lock his file. I asked her to contact Amy Hart to find out, because I knew she'd be able to find him quickly (or at least Lifeline would).

Here's what I remember about that afternoon:

• It was H-O-T. Hotter than heck. Everyone was in the pool except me. So much for spending quality time with the kids!
• I couldn't get a half-decent cell connection without standing in a large plant in the corner of my parent's "big room". (I've never had a problem with a cell signal there before.) It just added to the difficulties.
• And, with it being 4:30 pm on a Friday afternoon, we were running out of time to lock his file and be able to find the doctors necessary to review it for us.
• I got to TALK to Kelly for the first time- like 100 times! :) (So silly, I know, but when you know someone through their blog, then get to talk to them in real life, it's different. But, it was like we were old friends picking up where we had left off.)

The complicating factor? Our social worker at our agency was not in the office that afternoon, and we were told she was the only one who could look up a file for us. I pushed back and suddenly someone else COULD look- but they wouldn't look him up unless we had his Chinese name.

Hmmmm? How was I supposed to get that? Thanks so much for the help.

I called Lifeline Children's Services who had posted about the kids on the Yahoo group. (And it LITERALLY felt like a Lifeline to me at that moment!)

I spoke with a different Amy who is in the China program, and I told her our situation. She looked Evan up on the shared list for me, and gave me his Chinese name. (Thank you, Lord, for people who put KIDS first and will do ANY.THING. to see kids find their families- regardless of what agency I'm committed to!) She also told me he was still available on the list.

I called my agency back, and armed with his name, birthdate, medical need, and home province, I asked for this woman to look him up. She did and called me back a short time later to tell me that she could not find him.

I e-mailed Kelly. She asked me to give her his info so she could "see what she could do". (Thank you, Lord, for people who will go WAY above and beyond on THEIR Friday afternoons because they want to see kids find their families!)

A short time later, while we were on our way to get Chinese take-out (TOTAL coincidence), Kelly called back to say that he was indeed still on the list. I called our agency back, and the lady who couldn't find him originally said that our social worker would be home "shortly" and would call us when she got there and would look up his file for us. I resisted the temptation to say, "Define 'shortly'."

Meanwhile, I cold called a cardiologist that had been recommended to us. He's kind of a big deal in these parts, and I basically just called his office and told them our situation. I didn't have high hopes for cooperation- you know how doctor's offices can be- especially without a referral and without an actual, you know, patient. I spoke with the nice receptionist, and a very kind nurse who assured me they would see what they could do for us. To my utter shock, a few short minutes later, the cardiologist HIMSELF called me back. He was very interested in helping, because, he explained to me, adoption was close to his heart. He brought his daughter home several years ago form China. I explained where we were at, and he gave me his number and e-mail and told me that if we were able to lock his file over the weekend, that he was on call and ready to look at "Evan's" file. (Thank you, Lord for the unexpected blessing of an amazingly human, gracious, wonderful cardiologist- who has traveled this road before!)

Fast forward to 8:00PM- several hours after we had been told our social worker would call us "shortly". I was flat out irritated. (This was sort of the proverbial straw on my camel's back.) However, I continued to remind myself that IF this was the child God hand-picked for our family, I did not need to worry about it. If his file is already gone, then God has another plan.

Shortly after 8PM, with no other option, I sent an e-mail to my social worker asking if she was indeed planning to call after all. 5 minutes later the phone rang. She didn't seem much interested in talking to me on a Friday night, but did try to find his file for me. She told me after searching his name, that he was not on the list. I told her that "Yes, he IS on the list. You just need to find him."

Lo, and behold. She did. Then, she proceeded to tell me that I did realize he's not in the age range we requested and that he also was Hepatitis B positive.

Now, the previous week, we had received a referral (like a phone-call-out-of-the-blue referral) for a little girl who was missing her right arm. We thought God had matched us with our daughter. But, then our pediatrician told us that he felt it sure she was also Hep B positive because of her lab results. We had not researched Hep B at all, and really, we didn't feel comfortable with it (mostly due to us not knowing anything about it). Anyway, we ended up turning down the referral (there's a bit more to that story, but it doesn't pertain to this story).

I was irritated that she seemed to be trying to talk us out of locking Evan's file. But, I also looked at Scot when I said, "Oh, he's Hep B positive?" and I knew this was most likely a deal-breaker for him. Our social worker told us that he had been on the list since JANUARY, and that with the combination of this gender, his age, and his special need, that he would "definitely" still be on the list Monday morning. We decided to not lock his file just yet. (This is so hard for me to write now, and I feel anxiety just writing it thinking of what would have happened if we had missed him.)

I e-mailed Kelly and Amy the update, and I went to bed.

And, then came another couple of e-mails both from Amy at Lifeline. The first I read when I woke up at 6:00AM. During the night, she had sent us an e-mail with Evan's lab results on it telling me to take a look. She said that she was not a doctor, but she certainly didn't see a Hep B diagnosis, and from what she could tell from his lab results, he did not have Hep B- it was possibly resolved or that he had simply been exposed. I looked, did some research, and had to agree with her. Because my doctor had explained ALL the lab results in the Hep B "panel" just the week before, I knew she had a point. (Thank you, Lord, for Amy. Had she not had the boldness to e-mail that file and to suggest we take a closer look what we may have missed. Thank you for using her to turn our heads again in the direction You wanted us to go!)

I told Scot I thought we had made a BIG mistake not just locking his darn file. WHY had we let our social worker freak us out??? He reminded me that he'd still be on the list Monday morning, and we could lock it then.

Then came one more e-mail from Amy at 6:57 that morning. She said:

I just got an email saying he is gone from the list....your agency said he is there so I am a bit confused...unless he was locked in the last few hours....let me know

and remember it is in Gods hands and he already knows your child's name....

You know, it might be then that I knew, because my heart felt like it broke.

I forwarded Kelly both of Amy's e-mails. We were heading out to a family reunion quite a distance away that day- again, God put me in a place where I had NO internet and barely any cell service- and Kelly said she would again ask her contact at yet ANOTHER adoption agency to look again to see if his file was, in fact, still there. She said she'd call me if she heard anything. (Lord, have I thanked you for Kelly yet? Thank you for "blogging" friends who are oh-so-much more than that!)

I did all I could to enjoy that day. I see my family once a year, and I wanted to enjoy them all. However, I had been in the door no less than 15 seconds before someone asked me if we knew anything about the newest member of the family yet? Ugh....how many times would I get that question that day? (Turns out, several more!)

At some point in the afternoon, Kelly called to say that Evan was indeed still on the list. There seems to have been some confusion about the spelling of his name, but he was still there. I felt relief wash over me like a cold rain- really- it felt almost physical.

At least now, Scot and I would have a long ride home to talk (with sleeping kids in the back) and we could think and pray over the following 24 hours about what we should do.

Remember, the next day was Sunday, and that began my week of Camp with a bang- Scot was leaving for a week-long business trip, and the kids and I would be at the church for 12 hours that day doing the three services at church, and then setting up for the week. This was not a week when I had even a minute of spare time and that's when Scot IS home to help. Without Scot home to help, this was going to be a marathon week. To throw reviewing a file with this level of seriousness on top of everything.......I don't know what I was thinking.

Monday morning, while all the campers were out at their activity stations, I snuck out and called our social worker. (I told only my one closest friend who was there with me what was going on- she covered for me all week as I had to sneak away. Thank you, Lord for friends like Liz who will do whatever it takes when you need it.)

I asked her to lock Evan's file for us. She said, No, she couldn't lock his file for us unless we were SURE we were going to adopt him. HUH? I'm no dummy. I had been around the block enough to know that's not how it works. How can we say "Yes" to a child whose medical files we had not read yet??? She said she would send us the files for our review and for us to have reviewed by doctors, but she would not lock his file for us.

I didn't have time to argue. I asked her to yes, please send the files. Later that day, she and I had a nice, emotional heart-to-heart, and in the end, she locked Evan's file for us. The clock was now ticking.

With the limited time I had, I contacted the pediatrician, the cardiologist, and an international adoption specialist who, apparently, has a reputation for giving you the "worst-case scenarios". Then, I waited.

Tuesday morning during camp, I snuck out to see if the cardiologist had e-mailed. He had. In short, Evan was very, very sick just previous to surgery, but he felt like Evan got a good repair and had a great prognosis. Regarding the Hep B, he said "No, he doesn't have it....it looks like he may have had it, but that it was resolved". WOW- that sounded good to me. I forwarded it to Scot so he could read it to.

Now, I was still waiting for the call from the international adoption specialist who I was looking forward to talking to the most. I knew I would have limited time with her, so I wanted to be able to really focus on listening to her. However, she called at the exact moment camp let out when I was standing in a room of 100+ people, mostly kids, and I had both my kids with me. I was NOWHERE near a pen, a piece of paper, or anything resembling silence. I literally threw my kids at the nearest adult I recognized, and while saying hello, I ran as fast as I could out of that room, kicked a bunch of people out of the closest children's ministry classroom, grabbed a marker, and some scrap paper, and tried not to sound out of breath.

She told me all sorts of things....some of which sounded pretty scary, but the funny thing is when she said the scary stuff, my gut told me that it just wasn't true. I found myself wanting to defend him and say, "Oh, but if you read his sponsorship updates, you'd know that's not the case." At the end of the conversation, she said to me, "He's a "Rea*der's Digest kid."

I had never heard that phrase before, so I did a very uncharacteristic "Jenna" thing: I asked a question: "I'm not familiar with that phrase, what does that mean?"

She told me that it means that "This kid defeated the odds. He shouldn't be alive, but he is, and he's doing spectacularly well considering the condition he had been in. He's the kind of kid you read about in Read*er's Digest who should not even be here, but who goes on to do great things."

WOW.

About the Hep B, she said, " Those lab results are a non-issue." She offered a couple of very simple explanations for the funky lab results, but said that it was not something that we should worry about.

On the way home from camp that day, our pediatrician called. What a great guy he is. He had walked with us through the difficult decision the previous week to not accept a referral, and he called the following Monday to check up on us. Anyway, he thought everything looked good too. He said that he felt Evan didn't have Hep B either.

At the end of the conversation, he asked me what I wanted him to do with the file. "Should I shred it or hang onto it?" he asked.

I told him to hang on to it.

That night over the phone, I relayed all of this to Scot. We talked about it a bit, but we were both still hung up on the serious of his heart condition combined with Hep B results that made us really nervous. We agreed we would pray that God would give us both an answer that night. We'd sleep on it, then we'd talk in the morning.

I called Robyn that night to talk to her about ToF - what they've been told and what her experience has been.

I e-mailed Andrea (whose blog is private), a blogging friend form early on in this adoption journey, and she encouraged me (oh so rightly) to look at the child, and not the medical issue(s).

And, I talked to Kelly for a LONG time on the phone that night. I filled her in on what all of the doctors said, we did some more research, and who knows what else. But, during the conversation Kelly said one thing that I do remember. She said that it is clear from what I had learned about Evan that the hand of God has been on his life. He was brought to New Day, his life was saved, and that God clearly has big plans for Evan's life. And, that no matter what Scot and I decide to do, we could rest assured that God's hand would STILL be on Evan's life.

It was just what I needed to hear in that moment.

That night I fell asleep praying.

When I woke up, I couldn't shake what Kelly had said. When Scot called, we went around and around a bit talking about what scared us, what terrified us, and what all our unanswered questions were. We just got it all out on the table. At the end of all that, I told Scot what Kelly had said, and I told him that what it ultimately came down to for me was this: God's hand truly is on Evan's life- that much was clear to me. So, we could choose be a part of the story God is writing with Evan's life or we could choose not to.

I told Scot that I thought we should be a part of it- I didn't want to miss it. He agreed.

We were scared, but in that moment, we knew that Evan's story was our story too.

So, later that morning, while some of my dearest friends were shepherding kids from art to games to music at Camp KidsWay, I stood next to the pond where it was quiet, dialed our adoption agency, and with tears in my eyes and a zillion unanswered questions, told them, that our LOI was on it's way to them.

"Evan" was our son.

-----------------------------------

Thank you, God. I'm speechless when I think of all you did in a few short days to bring our son to us and for the many people whose voices you used to speak to us during those days. We are humbled to think that you'd use us at all, but that you'd write us in to a story you are so clearly authoring in Cooper's life when you could have included anyone else leaves us truly amazed. We feel truly privileged to be his mom and his dad, and to be able to have a front-row seat to Your work in his life. May the glory be Yours in it all.

Have you seen this yet?

This post has been seriously delayed......but, without further ado:

My dear friend, Kelly, started this new site as an amazing resource for adoptive parents. Here's what it's all about:

{We are Grafted in} is a place where we can gather as those who love God and either desire to build or grow our families through adoption, support those who do, or provide care for the millions of orphans around the world. Though the articles and essays posted here are meant to challenge and encourage families from a Christian worldview, all our welcome here. We invite you to read the articles posted here, visit the websites of the families featured who have a heart for God and His call for their family, join the forum and engage in real and honest conversations with other likeminded families, and consider how the Lord is calling you personally.

Kelly has a knack for research, and somehow, she finds and reposts the BEST adoption-related blog postings from adoptive parents in all stages at We Are Grafted In. I seriously have not read one yet that has not completely resonated with me. And, while I personally am not a big user of forums (I just don't have the time, honestly) there is a great one there where you don't have to warn people if you post something where you reference your faith. Faith is the undercurrent of everything there, and that makes it truly unique, in my opinion.

I would encourage you to head on over there, because I can tell you that this site will, without question, be a blessing to you!!!

P.S.- I really am working on a post about Cooper's referral. I just can't seem to leave out any details.....so brace yourselves. However, you'll hear LOTS about Kelly in that post. I can tell you first-hand that she has a deep, real faith and a heart for orphans that reflects God's heart. I'm grateful to call her my friend.

{Almost} Wordless

Anticipated travel date: October 28th

All Things New

Around our house, there is nary a thing that hasn't been cleaned out, given away, washed down, professionally cleaned, and now......painted. We have been hit HARD with the nesting bug getting things ready for Cooper. Why do we feel lke the couch covers need to be washed along with the living room carpet? Who knows? But, it's all coming from the cellular level. I'm telling you- we couldn't stop the craziness if we tried! :)

So, this past Saturday with a little help from our friends who threatened us with bodily harm if we didn't accept some help (ok, that's a slight exaggeration...:) ), we painted all three bedrooms upstairs and the bathroom! Now, we've been planning to do this since we moved in two years ago, and we've dutifully NOT hung anything on the walls during that time to make the task of painting easier, but alas.....the painting never got done.

This weekend, nesting....and our friends who would not let us get away with putting the painting off any longer....took over.

We are so thankful to have friends who insisted on helping. Liz, Kim, Andrew, and Alex gave up and ENTIRE Saturday to paint with us. But, what I didn't realize is how much fun that would be....and how much more we would know each other at the end of the day! If two is better than one, what I learned is that 6 is FAR better than two! :) Thanks guys for all you did Saturday to help get our house ready for Cooper!

And....who knew how totally thrilled a little paint would make me?

Here are our BEFORE pictures:

In Chloe's room, nothing matched, there was no decor- in fact, I had bought the cute lamp just 24 hours before I took this picture- and the wall color was ugly (you can't tell in the picture, but it was sort of a green color). For a girl who loves all things FANCY, this room was kind of blah.

Our bedroom: We love our quilt, and have always wanted a room that reflects it, but you know how it goes. Mom and dad's room comes LAST, and when the kid's rooms have not even been done.....well, mom and dad's room stays all plain. (Forgive the laundry hanging around. I'm just keepin' it real....well sorta. I did clean up the majority of the mess before I took the picture!)

The bathroom is the room I have been dying to paint since we moved in. We bought this shower curtain years ago, and I've been wanting to paint the bathroom to match ever since then. I just loved that it would be kid-friendly and fun. Note the ceiling in this picture: lots of staining from poor ventilation. Too bad I took this picture after we removed the super-stylish border that was there......yikes.

Sawyer's room (which will also be Cooper's room) really didn't need a new color. I love his quilt, and the wall color worked really well with it. But, there were a bunch of spots you can't see in the picture that needed repairing, so we repaired them and repainted.



So, we worked through an entire Saturday to get all these rooms (including each ceiling) DONE. I'm glad no one bothered to tell us beforehand what a lofty goal that was. But, the results were AWESOME!!!!

AFTER:

Sawyer's Room

OK, so that's the same picture. :) What can I say? The paint looks exactly the same, and the after picture actually doesn't look as good because we didn't put anything back up on the walls. We aren't sure what we are doing yet for beds/arrangements/decor/etc.....so we're leaving the room a blank slate until we figure that part out. But, it's got a beautiful fresh coat of paint in the same exact color which our boy who doesn't like change was perfectly thrilled about!

Our bedroom

Ah, now that's what I'm talkin' about! Sure, there still isn't anything hanging on the walls, and let's face it- there probably won't be before we move out. However, I sit on my bed now with a good book, and I feel like I've been transported to some spa somewhere. The color is just so calming!

My goal is to get window treatments soon. That alone will feel luxurious!

The bathroom

No sooner had we opened the paint can did we realize that the swatch we looked at and this actual color were.....um......different. Unfortunately for us, this real color was a bit.....brighter. Like....kind of the color you'd expect to see on some alien sun. This picture really doesn't do it justice. Let's just say, sleeping through my shower in the morning is no longer an option. Oh no, when you walk in to the bathroom now, your eyes are assaulted. We've already said we may repaint, and we've already realized that it will probably be the next people that own this house that repaint it. It will grow on us (it kind of already has). But, do note how much better the ceiling looks! That's a plus! :)

Chloe's Room

This was the room that was worth all the effort for me. I was almost in tears once it was done. Chloe was so excited to have a pink room. (I had told her we were painting it sky blue, but she asked if it could please be pink instead, and we obliged.) This is the just-about-finished product. (Yes, I know the curtain isn't actually hanging, but I wanted you to get the idea. Curtain rods are coming!) The best part is, this was design on a dime. While the transformation was HUGE, the cost was very low- thank you, wall decals. The best part is that Chloe has not yet stopped gushing about how much she loves her room, and thanking us for it.

As an added bonus, Sawyer LOVEs the room too- for a different reason. He's created a game for the two of them that has kept them busy for hours since the room was finished:

Yep.....hunting for wall animals. Who needs video games?

All in all.....it was a great transformation. Thanks to Liz, Alex, Kim, Andrew, and Mimi who went above and beyond to make it all happen! We are so grateful!

First Day of School

Seriously, I think it's her favorite day of the year!!!! She was SO excited! (Her brother, not so much!)

Great Day!

Our Senator's office just called to say that USCIS approved our new I-171H. It is on it's way to be approved by a supervisor, then it will be on it's way to us! The caseworker said she expects us to have it in one to two weeks- and to call back if we don't!!! To say we are thankful is a huge understatement. For once, I didn't get all worked up and stressed out, I really did cast all my cares on Him. And you know what? It worked! ;)

I could have been a ridiculous stress case over the last few days (meaning that it would have been more typical), but I felt completely at peace. I have a spiral-bound set of index cards directly next to my keyboard here. I have verses written on it that have been (or that I knew would be) an encouragement to me on this roller coaster adoption ride. Honestly, I think it was the best thing I ever did, and I did it originally to give me something to help combat my (way-too-second-nature) urge to freak out. I can actually trace my feelings throughout this journey by following the themes of the verses.

Anyway, part of the reason I have been so able to remain peaceful is because the verse I currently have my cards turned to is this:

Faithful is He who calls you; He will also bring it to pass.

I Thess. 5:24

As I looked at it every day, I was reminded that God called us to this, and it's HIS job to bring it to pass- not mine. Of course, I have to do (and want to do) everything in my power, but that's it. I can leave what I can't do for Him, and He WANTS me to. I was reminded this week that this adoption journey for us has continued to be as much about our spiritual formation as it has been anything else. God is teaching me to depend on Him. He probably knows that I'll need that trait to be second nature here pretty soon when I'm in WAY over my head! :)

Anyway, it looks like we are good to go, and while this probably delayed us a little bit, I think we'll still travel in October. Thank you again for your prayers- yet another reason I'm sure I didn't freak out! :)

To top it all off, this arrived in the mail today:

I'm embarking on this study all by my solitary self at my own pace. I can hardly wait. I'm looking forward to my first few quiet minutes to crack it open.

It's been a great day!

U*SCIS Update

I just got a call from our Senator's office that USC*IS never received the package I sent them requesting our update. It must have got "lost in the shuffle" she said! OH MY!!!! I shutter to think how long we would have been waiting if I hadn't called and/or Scot had not called the Senator.

I just faxed all of that to the Senator's office, and they are going to submit that directly to an agent there who can *hopefully* process our request. Jennifer, the woman we are working with at Senator Gregg's office, said she'd call me in the morning to let me know if she gets any indication about how long our approval will take.

Please continue to pray that our approval is processed quickly! I can't thank you all enough for your concern for our family and for Cooper!! I often wish there was more action-oriented stuff I could be doing to get it done, but I think the lesson I am needing to learn over-and-over is that God wants me to turn to Him....not to myself, or even to Senators....and to trust Him to work on our behalf. I'm learning. Maybe if I finally "get it" this will be the last lesson I need!

Doubtful, huh? :)

Speechless

It's rare that I'm actually speechless.

Sunday morning when I walked into my office at church to grab a couple of things, I wasn't prepared to be rendered completely speechless and overcome with emotion.

On my desk sat a small box I knew I didn't put there. When I walked over to it, I saw this note attached to the top:

I was curious, and I stood there for a minute trying to figure out what might be inside. When I realized I didn't have any earthly idea, I just opened it and I think I was maybe the most surprised as I have ever been about anything in my life.

Inside that small box was a HUGE gift:

Not that there was anyone there to talk to, but I was speechless. Utterly stunned. Until I started crying.

It might have been a small box, but in more ways than one, that is no small gift.

You know, sometimes in life people do something so profoundly meaningful for you, and you just wonder what you ever did to deserve such kind, heartfelt thoughtfulness. Really. I was overwhelmed with the thought of "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

Then, I felt so special. To have people in my life that care about my family and I like that is no small thing, and I know we are blessed beyond measure. That someone would care so much for me, for our family, and for Cooper during this time in our lives was just amazing to me.

I still don't know what the Chinese phrase says (I'm on it, but if you just so happen to speak Mandarin......a little help would be LOVELY!).

To whoever gave us this amazing, generous gift to help us communicate with our son, thank you is not enough to say. However, I am speechless to express my gratitude. You have made us realize anew how blessed we are, and we are so thankful to God for you. I'm thankful He knows who you are. We are asking Him to bless you as tremendously as you have blessed us.

Thankful Thursday

My God is so big,

so strong and so mighty

there's nothing my God cannot do!

The mountains are His.

The Rivers are His.

The stars are His handiwork too.

My God is so big,

so strong and so mighty

there's nothing my God cannot do!

I sing this song every week with our preschoolers. I love it. It's my favorite. I love it, because if they own that truth, what can life throw at them that with God's help they can't get through?

Today, that's what I'm thankful for- that there is NOTHING my God cannot do. Now, it may be that He will not. But, I've learned to trust him. If this journey has taught me anything, it is that. If He doesn't move mountains to bring Cooper home, well, I trust Him. It may be hard, but I trust He has a reason that is for our collective good.

However, I know He CAN move mountains (of paperwork , as the case may be :) ) to bring Cooper home, and we are praying wholeheartedly that He will.

When I think that this is US Immigration, I wonder how this red tape will ever be cut through. Then I remember that there is NOTHING my God cannot do, and that He controls it all.

I have to say I have complete peace right now. The Senators office has agreed to do whatever they can to help us, and they said they would call us back in a week to let us know where we stand. Please continue to pray with us that Senator Gregg's office will find favor with whoever they talk to, and that against all odds, our paperwork will be expedited so that we can travel before our TA expires on November 19th! Without Senator Gregg's office being willing to help us, I don't know what we'd do.

So, tonight I'm thankful for the Senator's office being willing to help our family, and for my God who is my ever-present help in times like these. Who is SO big, SO strong and SO mighty. And with Him, all things are possible!

And, I'm thankful for all of your encouragement and prayers!

It's a VERY thankful Thursday!

Please Pray

I was walking on cloud 9 today as I left W@l*Mart with EVERYTHING we needed for our China trip - ALL the odds-and-ends. AH.......only thing left was to organize it all.

However, my bubble was burst just 5 short minutes later when I called US*CIS to check on the status of our updated I-171H. All we needed was them to adjust the special needs we are approved for, and the age range. That's it. Seemed simple enough since our ORIGINAL approval only took 2 weeks.

Well, turns out that recently, all immigration files related to adoptions have been taken out of the jurisdiction of the local (super-efficient and personable) offices and transferrred to the (significantly less organized, efficient, and certainly personal) "National Benefits Center" down in Missouri. As a result, they have a tremendous backlog of paperwork.

Backlog. I've heard that word before somewhere, and it doesn't conjure up a pretty picture.

Anyway, the nice lady told me that yes, they got our paperwork, yes, it's sitting there, but that they are horribly backlogged as a result of all the files in the whole US being transferred on down there. They have been so busy checking in the files arriving daily, that they have not processed any update requests AT ALL. (She didn't say for how long, but that doesn't seem to be ok.)

Basically, she told me that I was in for a LONG, LONG wait. Like, weeks or months. She couldn't possibly guess.

I almost threw up. I narrowly escaped dissolving into a heap of tears.

I explained to her that we are all set to travel at the beginning of October, but that we can't do that without this. We can't make an appointment at the Consulate in Guangzhou without this approval. In fact, at this rate, our visas could easily EXPIRE before we even get approval. She told me to check back in two weeks, but that our file has been "pulled" which means it has not even been assigned to a person yet. And, even when it is, that person will have a zillion other files besides ours. She "guesstimated" that maybe in two weeks we might be assigned to someone and that maybe a couple or three weeks after that we could possibly have approval. But, we really couldn't say because she actually have no idea how long it will take for them to get to us. She said she thought we'd probably have it before JANUARY. (When our visas will be expired!)

Thanks, lady. That's so encouraging.

Honestly, she made it sound like having Cooper home for Christmas is being very optimistic.

I called Scot, who immediately went into Papa Bear mode, and called our Senator. Thankfully, they have agreed to see what they can do for us, and we have an appointment with his office at 2:00PM tomorrow.

Please pray with us that God will move on our behalf. That Senator Gregg will find favor with US*CIS, and that we will be patient as we wait. I know we are not the only ones caught up in this backlog, but we want to rest at night knowing we have done all we can to bring Cooper home as quickly as possible- because he has waited for us long enough!!!

1st Day and a Reason to Celebrate (then Panic)

My sweet boy started 2nd grade today, and since he was really starting to act not-so-sweet to his sister (and visa versa) , it was TIME. I think this was the first year he went off nervous, but no profoundly so. While he had what I think were typical first-day jitters, he wasn't really scared like he has been every previous year. This year, there were no big, new things- no new school, no longer school day, no new school transportation (we still don't do the bus, but that's out of respect for who Sawyer is- it's one battle we don't choose because it alleviates a HUGE amount of stress for him). The only thing was a new teacher- he could handle that since he met her at the end of last year.

I thought this year might start off on the wrong foot when we got a letter last week saying that his new teacher was going to be on maternity leave for the first 8 days of school. (He burst into tears, started pacing, and announced he did NOT want to go to school.) Thankfully, I had previously worked with his new teacher, and I could assure him that she was young (#1 criteria for a new teacher in Sawyer's book) and very, very nice. When we went to meet her yesterday, he saw a bowl of Ne*rds candy on her desk, and immediately pronounced her, "REALLY nice". He was determined to do whatever it took to come home today with some of those candies.

I was afraid the teacher wasn't planning to be overly-generous with the candy, but Sawyer said his first day was great, and his teacher is very, very nice. He did indeed earn himself candy by "being good". This made his day, and started his year of on exactly the right foot. For that, we are thankful!

In two weeks Chloe starts......she's counting the days. No candy necessary.

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And, in other news, we have our TA!!!

Our agency didn't actually bother telling us this because Scot had taken a new job that required 8 weeks of training AWAY from home. As a result, we were not going to be able to travel until November regardless. TA wasn't necessarily something we were going to celebrate, because we couldn't go to China till November 6th TA or not.

However, God saw fit to provide Scot with another job offer. It was a difficult decision on many fronts, but this other job offered not only just two weeks of training, but also just a greater amount of time available for him to be home with the kids in general (MUCH more so than the other job which would have been just the opposite). While I think everyone he knows thinks him crazy for turning down what they all consider a "dream job" for something more "risky".......I'm not sure I've ever been so proud of him. There are just some times in life when you know you married the right man, and this is one of those times for me. He could have chosen career advancement and job security and no one would have batted an eyelash. But, in this time of transition for our family, he wanted more than anything else a job that would allow him to be as available as possible for me, and the kids- all three of them. That big company isn't going to miss him, but we sure would have.

ANYHOO....I digress......we have our TA, are free to travel ASAP, and it appears we will travel in the early part of October. ASAP will depend on us receiving our visas in a normal amount of time, but actually more so on us receiving our updated immigration approval so that our agency can make our appointment at the American Consulate in Guangzhou.

So.....you can be praying that USCIS speeds it up, and our visas come quickly.

Then, you can start praying that I can maintain my sanity now that I have 4 or 5 less weeks to prepare everything for our departure!!!!!!

Cooper....we're comin', buddy!

See, he's already packed and ready to go! :)

PS- that's his foster sister, Emelia next to him in that picture. She's available for adoption, and I'd LOVE to talk to anyone who might even be considering adopting her!!!