China {Revisited}: Urumqi

Our time in Urumqi, presumably the city of Cooper's birth, was.....well.......mixed. We spent a lot of time bored out of our skulls and stuck in our hotel room thanks to our guide that was anything BUT adventurous. In fact, she basically told us never to leave the hotel without her- then proceeded to tell us about the long stretches of time she WOULDN'T be with us. Looking back, we should have simply struck out on our own. Of course, at the time, that seemed pretty intimidating.

Our days in Urumqi were the healthiest days we had too- only Sawyer was sick there, and once he started on his antibiotic, he started feeling better quickly.

By our last day in Urumqi, we were passing the time by rewriting the lyrics to the Veggie Tales song, "We're Going to the Promised Land" to fit our China travels......"The dining was lousy in Urumqi, but we'll be feasting in Guangzhou for sure." Did I mention we were B.O.R.E.D?

However, in Urumqi, I had one of the most amazing, emotional, and truly unexpected days of my life: visiting the hospital where Cooper was found and having an unexpected lunch as the guest of a local Chinese official. Scot stayed back with the kids because they had not slept the night before, and we were worried that the long car ride and the boring (to them) nature of the trip might be a bad combo. So, I decided to go to this other part of the city by myself with my guide.

(This picture was taken right outside the front of our hotel in Urumqi- very metropolitan area.)

No sooner were outside of the city proper and headed out to the rural part of the city, than I started to think I hadn't actually considered if this might be, you know, a wise idea. Here I was in a car with some guy who was apparently a friend of my guide's and my guide. I had no way of contacting Scot, and he had no way of knowing exactly where they would take me. Thankfully, it turned out fine, but I did spend some time on the drive outside the city thinking about how bad it COULD turn out.

 (20-30 minutes outside Urumqi- the metropolis is gone and is replaced by poverty and dust)

My favorite part of the car ride was the wrong turn we took that landed us driving on a street where there was an open air market going on. Mostly it was a food market, but you could find clothes and such too. 

We were STUCK in this market for probably 45 minutes at least. I asked my guide if I could simply get out and walk next to the car. She told me in no uncertain terms that that would NOT be safe. I realize now that she simply was uncomfortable in this part of the city (being a very urban girl herself). It would NOt have been dangerous, and I should have TOLD her I was getting out in stead of asking.

So, I took in all the sights and sounds of the market from the car. We were in the middle of everything, so I was able to really soak it all in. The man selling naan bread.

The women buying and selling celery.

The meat sitting out in the sun on a piece of plywood- surely someone's dinner.

The vegetables lined on tarps placed down on the road. It all seemed so beautiful and simple to me. I nearly forgot where we were going in the enjoyment of getting there.

I studied every face. Every woman- could she be? Every man- could he be? Every child- could he have been here? Would this have been his life?

I loved the man below in the leather jacket in particular. To look at him, the way he was dressed in this jacket, v-neck sweater, and khaki pants, he looks like he might be on his break form an office in any city in the US. He was ruggedly handsome, and I wished I knew all about his life.

I watched him carefully shop for his ginger- was he shopping for home or was he a business owner?

As we left the market, I was sad that I was missing this opportunity to experience the rhythms of normal Chinese life. I didn't want to go.....except that I was also anticipating seeing the spot where all we know of Cooper's story began.

 (This donkey was standing among trash about 10 feet from the edge of the road where the market was)

After a long time (and several calls to the local police department for directions), we arrived at the hospital. 

I just sort of stood there. I looked at it for a long time, took pictures in every direction. But, then I wasn't sure what to do- keep standing there staring at it? Leave? It seemed too soon for that. 

My guide asked me if I wanted to go in. 

I definitely had not thought I'd get to go in. Was that even ok? I remembered that my guide was a first-class scaredy cat, so if she was assuring me it was ok, I assumed it was MORE than ok for me to go in. But, I could not help the feeling that I was trespassing.

I went in, and immediately, I just didn't want to stay.  Even now, I'm not sure why, but given the opportunity to go back, i don't think I would have done anything differently. At one point we passed a stairwell with a big open area underneath it- perfectly hidden in both directions from any people.

I just became overwhelmed with the idea that this cold, not-so-sterile, hospital was where Cooper was left completely unattended for who-knows-how-long. The hours of his life when he was really and truly completely alone.

I snapped a couple pictures for Cooper and then told my guide I was ready to go.

In the parking lot outside, I lost it and my poor guide didn't know what to do with me.

 This was, essentially the parking lot. There were maybe 20 spaces for cars in a single row out in front of the hospital, but this bike area was the primary parking lot.

Immediately upon leaving, my guide got a call from the police station. Apparently a local official (a tax collector no less), had heard there was an American in this part of the city here to adopt a boy from the local SWI, and he wanted to invite me to lunch. 

Again, I asked my guide if this was safe, and she assure me it was (gain, I assumed that meant it really, really was). I insisted she call the hotel so I could at least let Scot know that I would be out longer than I had expected, and he was totally ok with me going.

I was SO excited- and honored. 

We drove around the city a bit while we waited for "The call" that he was ready. During that time, I got to see the police station where Cooper was brought after he was found.

We finally drove to the office where this official worked, and we followed his black sedan over to another office building a few miles away where we picked up a woman who (according to my guide) was not his wife.

They took me to a hole-in-the-wall dumpling restaurant where the dumplings were delicious if loaded with celery (which might be the thing I HATE most in the world to eat)! I dipped them in LOADS of vinegar while praying that whatever I was eating was indeed safe! :)

Over lunch we talked about politics (hysterical if you know me at all), what I thought of China, and adoption. He started crying when he told me how thankful he was that we were adopting Cooper- that he is hopeful that he could be healthy, get a good education, and maybe even come back to China someday.

I assured him that we would educate him to his fullest potential, provide him with the best medical care available to us, love him unconditionally, and absolutely bring him back not just to China, but to Urumqi. I assured him that we would let him know just how beautiful and amazing the city where he was born is. 

Both he and the woman had eyes filled with tears. 

The woman never said a word. I have no idea who she was or why she was there. It seemed awkward to ask since it wasn't information that was offered to me.

They were thrilled to take a picture with me when we were done. He told me to come and find him when we came back to China.

I plan to do that- crazy as it sounds.

Before he left, he asked if he could come to the city to meet us for dinner there- the whole family. In Urumqi, with the time being 2 hours behind the rest of the world, work would not end for him until 7PM, the earliest they could meet was 8PM. Cooper had already demonstrated that he was literally unable to stay awake past 7PM and my other two kids were getting VERY emotional every night past bedtime. That combined with Chloe's breakdowns at dinner when she wasn't able to secure a bowl of white rice to eat had both me and my guide thinking that was NOT a good idea. 

It is another deep regret I have from our time in China. (The only other one being that Scot and the kids weren't with me to experience this day.) 

We absolutely should have gone to dinner with them.

I thanked them over and over for their hospitality. I'm not sure they'll ever know just how much that lunch meant to me. 

I wish I could go back and do it all again.