Mr. May 2011

Today, I turned my calendar in my office to May. I know, it's a little early, but next time I go to the office, it will be May, so I was planning ahead (round of applause for me).

And there he was, Mr. May 2011:

I almost didn't recognize him.

He's changed so much.

Adopting a Boy

Six short months ago Cooper's picture could have been included in this video. His file sat for SIX MONTHS on the shared list before we found it. Our social worker told us at the time that we "didn't need to worry about locking his file quickly- we could take all the time we needed to review it, it wasn't going anywhere. Very few people want a boy."

On another occasion, I was told that there were 42 families from our agency waiting for a match from the shared list. Only THREE were open to adopting a boy. We were the only family who had said we had no preference. The other two families said they'd prefer a girl, but would consider a boy.

Breaks my heart.....OH what we would be missing if we had only been open to a girl.

Play-Doh Revelations

Today, Cooper was playing play-doh at the kitchen table while I was washing dishes. He was chatting away to me as he did. He told me he was going to make a face with two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.

"I make him sad face."

Something in me knew exactly where this was going, so I dried my hands and sat down at the table.

"Why is he sad?" I asked.

"He sad 'cuz mama went to grocery store and he not find her. His mama all lost."

Ok, think fast. Pray quick. What to say?

"Oh, and that makes him feel sad?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, that is sad."

He continued to play play-doh and I continued to say a few things....honestly, I can't even remember what now because I was on auto-pilot. In the end, the shape of the plate he was using to make the face sort of "forced" the face into a smile. I didn't notice this and neither did he till it was done.

"Oh, he happy face."

"Oh, yeah. He does have a happy face. Why do you think he is happy?"

"He happy 'cuz his mama find him."

This is the face of 4 year old grief....and we're starting to see it and hear it now more and more. It's a good sign (he trusts us) and, yet, it's so hard to watch.

It doesn't wait for you to have "all the right answers". It humbles you pretty quick.

To be totally honest, I felt like I blew it today (although, while I can't really remember what I said, I do remember that he never elaborated much on his story no matter what questions I asked).  I'm not beating myself up though, because I know this is the tip of a deep, huge iceburg, and I'll have many more opportunities to respond "better". But, I did sympathize, let him talk, and tried not to put words in his mouth. I figure that's a good start.

We're all new to this- all of us- and I'm sure we'll figure out our way.

Any advice on how to handle stuff like this when it comes up from those of you who have been there, done that?

Bucket List

Recently, the topic of "Bucket Lists" came up over dinner, and we explained to our kids what a "Bucket List" is.

Previously, Scot and I had decided that we want to be the ones to take each of our kids to a top location on their "Bucket Lists" before they graduate from college. So, we explained that to our kids. Ideally, we want the entire family to be able to experience one location on each family member's "Bucket List". We don't know how or when (or really even IF) this will be possible (and we explained that to the kids too), but it's one of those things as parents we'd like to be able to do.

We explained to the kids that I have already been able to experience my "Bucket List" trip: standing on the Great Wall of China with my family (well, the whole family at the time....).

Scot said he's already experienced his: Hawaii. But, since he was only there with me, we're still in discussions about whether that counts or not. His new "Bucket List" place is England (and he clarified that Epcot does not count!).

Chloe has stood firm on hers: The Eiffel Tower. She's asked since she was 3 to go, and we're actually thinking about making that happen sooner than later because our sister and brother-in-law are currently living in Germany- a short train ride from Paris. Seems like a good opportunity- and heck, might as well take another trip on our kids' passports before they expire!

Sawyer is still thinking. He wants to make a good choice. Right now, he's thinking "Hollywood". We've told him he's got PLENTY of time to decide! But, the famous Aunt Jess lives in LA, so that is an easy trip too....even if it doesn't seem quite "Bucket List" material to me! Hey- it was on the tippity top of my "Bucket List" as a kid up through my teens when I actually got to go there (and was a little disappointed about how un-glamorous it actually is).

We're going to let Cooper get some command over the English language before he can truly decide (and we can truly know that he knows what the heck we're talking about). But, right now, he says, "Disney".

Scot pointed out that we could hit Disney and Hollywood in one trip (cha-ching!). I'm thinking that maybe we need to give the two boys a little more time to shoot for the stars a bit with their choices!

It's been fun thinking about and dreaming about and talking about as a family.

Just a little peek into what our family talks about at the dinner table! :)

A REAL Giveaway- for the Best Cause EVER

Ok, so this giveaway will make my silly, simple giveaways seem very, VERY lame, but have you checked out the giveaway that Stefanie is hosting to help bring her daughters, Poppy and Esther home from China? Well, you really should. She's giving away REAL prizes. HUGE prizes.

And, for every donation of $35 or more, you get a one-of-a-kind t-shirt.

I was all over that, but to know that I can help bring two little girls home from China where they will be SO LOVED- that's priceless!

Click on over and check it out.

And the winner is.......

Oh, this giveaway stuff is FUN- especially because it's not like I have 1000 people reading my blog. There are a few of you, and I've been able to get to know so many of you through your blogs too. (I'll be better about blog reading again soon....haven't had much time for that in awhile!)

 I promise one of these days I will video tape my kids pulling the winning name out for "proof", but the batteries in the video camera were dead tonight. So, again, you're just going to have to trust me!

Anyway, this month's winner is Rebecca! WOO HOO!

 La Dolce Vita: The Sweet Life said...

Rilke is one of my favorite poets.

Pick me, pick me. Wait, did I already say that? :)

April 1, 2011 1:36 PM

If you don't read Rebecca's blog you should. I find it so incredibly fitting that she would win this giveaway, because I feel like she has a poet's voice in her writing. I find her blog very honest and inspiring, and she often quotes some very beautiful poetry there! So, Rebecca......I'm thrilled you'll have a new book of artwork and poetry to share with your kids!

Before we traveled to adopt Cooper, Rebecca and I corresponded via e-mail a bit, and she shared with me some of what she experienced just a few short months before when she was in China to pick up her daughter, Claire. Some of what she shared with me, she also posted on her blog in a beautifully written, amazingly honest post about how she felt on "Gotcha Day. Her words to me in those e-mails were some of what I held onto during the days when we were at New Day and I had the very same experience. God used her honesty and transparency in those e-mails to encourage my own heart and calm my intense fears in some of the scariest moments of my life. Just knowing someone else had felt the EXACT same way as I was feel ing at the time helped me realize that a) it was normal and that b) it would pass. Without the words from her e-mail still ringing in my ears, I might have actually experienced full-fledged panic. God used Rebecca's words to speak to my heart and let me know it would all be ok!

So, to say I'm happy you won, Rebecca, would be an understatement. I promise it was truly by "chance", but I know God knew I'd be especially thrilled to send YOU this book!


Have I mentioned I am LOVIN' this giveaway stuff? 

Maybe the Best Blog Post I've Ever Read

So, last week I said I'd share my favorite, and most convicting, blog post I've read over at Orange Parents. (Bookmark that blog....I'm telling you you WILL NOT regret it!)

It's titled Family Voice, and I dare you to read it and not walk away totally convicted.

I also dare you to just TRY not to be reminded of it ten times a day for the next 6 months (and beyond) every time you fail miserably in the "Family Voice" department.

I double dare you to share the link with your spouse, and talk about it. Then, I triple dog dare you to remind each other about it ten times a day when you each fail miserably at it.

Can you see we've had some experience with the "Family Voice" in this house?

However, there has been some improvement here (we have a long way to go.....correcting this is anything but easy). While we have NOT arrived, this little blog post convicted both Scot and I so much so that the words "Family Voice" are uttered in our house on a regular basis- generally as a reminder to one or the other of us (or the kids).

It's one of those things that we go back and read, and also one of those things that I know we'll be talking about for years to come.

It's is a very short blog post containing a dangerous amount of Truth.

Read only if you are prepared to be convicted.

Read only if you are prepared to make a difficult, wonderful change in the way you communicate with your family.

Read with an ice pack in hand because you are going to get hit right between the eyes. I dare say there will be no exception on this.

You've been warned.

Serious Adorableness

Gosh, could this kid be any cuter?!?!?! 

I just uploaded a bunch of pictures, and I couldn't help sharing the adorableness.

This is what happens when you leave Cooper and Scot alone in a room with self-stick letters. 

Yes, I might as well have 4 children! :)

Cooper has now enjoyed his very first make-your-own-taco night. As you can see in the picture below, he doesn't quite get it. But, on the up-side, he's eating(almost) the same dinner as the rest of the family. It's taken us 4 months to get to this point, so this was picture-worthy material! 

As I've mentioned, my sister works for "The Mouse" (yes, THAT Mouse), and Cooper just so happens to LOVE, LOVE, L.O.V.E. that Mouse. So, when Aunt Jess sent a Mickey raincoat to him, it got the best reaction of any present I have ever given to any of my kids ever. I was SO sad I didn't think to video tape him opening it. He yelled, "YES! Oh, YES!" and just kept yelling and dancing and hugging his raincoat. He was very, very excited about it- it was AWESOME!

On Sunday mornings, I'm up and out the door early to get to church to set up and such. Scot follows with the kids later. This past Sunday Cooper showed up dressed like this. Yes, I totally melted when I saw him! If my sister working for The Mouse didn't disqualify us from entering, I think Cooper could give the other Gap Kids a run for their money in the next "Find the Next Gap Kid" photo contest, what do you think?

Actually, Scot sent Cooper to church like this: 

(Aunt Jess also bought Cooper this hat. She's the best, and yes, my kids think she's all that.)

Some days, I just can't stop staring at him.
The beauty, the strength, the mystery, the joy. 

We are so very, very blessed to have him in our family.

PS- if you have not entered the Giveaway for April, check it out here and enter away! :)

April Giveaway!

Look at me- posting the Giveaway on the very first day of April.

You don't have to be impressed. I'm impressed enough for both of us.

In actuality, it's because I'm not showered and still in my PJs, because what everyone else considers a cruel April Fool's joke (6 inches of snow this morning!), I count as a gift. I LOVE snow days. Sure, my kids will be in school in July. Yes, I'll hate it then, but today, I loved it! We all hung out in our PJs, I cleaned the house a bit, then we snuggled up to watch a movie. That's the kind of day I need to recharge.

Anyway....I've been looking forward to this month, because it's National Poetry Month. I'm not a major reader of poetry, but I do have a huge selection of it we pull out in April (again, I love me a good theme). So, in April, we read a lot of poetry around here.

And, when reading poetry to/with your kids, there is NO better book than The Bill Martin Jr. Big Book of Poetry.

Doesn't the cover just make you want to buy it? Well, one of you won't have to! Yay!

Bill Martin Jr. is a much-love children's book author (Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See? and that family of books), and in celebration of his life and work, this collection of poetry was compiled with some of the best poetry for children illustrated by the best children's book illustrators in the business. The result is a beautiful book that we all get excited about pulling off the shelf every April. We read several poems at bedtime each night, and every single night, the kids BEG for "just one more". (I oblige with two or three more because I can't stop either!)

This is one book that every parent should own, in my opinion! The artistry is gorgeous. The poems are simple, yet beautiful, and no one will leave disappointed!

So, in celebration of National Poetry month, I am giving away one copy of this book! 

To enter is simple:

• For one entry, become a "Follower" of my blog (see sidebar) and leave a comment letting me know that you are officially joining the fun (or lack of it) around here. If you are already a "Follower, just leave a comment letting me know that too! :)
• For another entry, simply include in your comment the name of your favorite poet, poem, or book of poetry, of course.

All comments for entries must be made before midnight on Wednesday, April 6. I will pick a winner on Thursday, April 7 and send your book out right away so that you too can enjoy the book all month long!!