October's Winner

Cooper had the privilege of picking this month's winner's name out of a hat, and the winner is: Valerie!

 Valerie and Jeff said...

I LOVE my Matt Maher CD these days-so many on there just speak to my heart. But I can't wait for the new Casting Crowns release from what Tara posted--what a sweet deal if I could score one here! ;-)

And the band is speaking notess of adoption? Hmmm, they're my husband's fav band ... maybe they'll speak to his heart? Always hoping.
Thanks for the giveaway. Win or not, it's always FUN!
-Valerie

Valerie- if you e-mail your address to me at scjchardy{at}yahoo{dot}com, I will get your Come to the Well CD right out to you!

Scot and I have been listening to it and have agreed that it is their best CD yet. The two songs I mentioned previously are worth the CD alone, but Jesus, Friend of Sinners might be my new favorite song. Incredibly powerful message- a sermon set to music.

So, I've decided based on the fact that I LOVED the CD so much that instead of waiting until November to make up for my lack of a giveaway in September, I'm going to give away a second CD today! (I'm SO spontaneous, huh?)

If I didn't know better, I'd think Cooper might have thrown this one, because he picked my friend, Ally, who also happens to be his Sunday School teacher. I think he's kissing up! :)

 Ally said...

I love listening to Luke sing Jesus loves me. It is my absolute favorite.

October 18, 2011 6:18 AM

YAY, Ally- I know you'll love this CD!!! I'll give it to you tomorrow when I see you! Does Luke have a CD out that I can pick up? ;)

If you didn't win, go to Be*st Buy this week (before Saturday). Apparently they are going to have Come to the Well for a crazy-low price of $7.99. OR go to Tar*get- apparently they are giving out a $5 Tar*get gift card to anyone who buys the CD between now and Saturday as well. (All this according to Casting Crown's FB page).

Either way, it's well worth the price- you'll be encouraged, challenged, and blessed by it!

Refreshing Honesty (Not mine.)

I love. love. love. when bloggers write with refreshing honesty about adoption.

Adoption is wonderful. It has changed me in ways nothing else likely could have. It has taught me so much I never would have learned another way, and most of all, it has enriched my life in ways no man can measure by the presence of a little boy who is an amazing, undeserving gift to our family. To my life.

And, Cooper transitioned beautifully into our family. Textbook. I wouldn't have prayed for it to go this well, because that would have been asking too much.

But, has it been easy? Um.....no.

We're getting to easy. Most days feel easy now.

But, I still remember the "after the airport" phase like it was yesterday. And those days were hard.

What do I mean, "after the airport" you ask?

After the Airport.

Refreshing honesty about something real and difficult.

At least it is refreshing if you've been through it, it was hard, and you wonder if you are the only person who has been through such a wonderful thing and yet thinks it is hard, hard, hard some days.

In particular, this quote from her blog struck a chord with me:

"Trust me when I tell you that although we are all having hilarious moments......and precious moments......…we are still in the thick of hard, exhausting work, so if you ask me if these are the happiest days of my life (which a ton of you have), and my eyes kind of glaze over and I say through a tight-lipped smile like a robot, “Yes. Sure. Of course. This is my dream life”…I am lying. I am lying so you won’t feel uncomfortable when I tell you, “Actually, I haven’t had a shower in three days, I lost my temper with my uncontrollable daughter this morning and had to walk outside, I’m constantly cleaning up pee because uncircumcised tee-tee goes sideways onto walls, and sometimes when my two littles are asleep and we’re downstairs with the original three kids who are so stable and healthy and easy, it creates a nostalgia so intense, I think I might perish. But enough about me. How are you?”

But that would be weird. So I say, “Yes. I am so happy.”

For us, people would say, "Oh, wow. What a seamless adjustment he's made, huh? Just like he was here all along!" 

From about two weeks after we got home, people basically decided Cooper was doing so well that there was no need at all to check in on us. A majority of people stopped asking how he was doing, and almost no one would ask how we were doing. 

When they would ask, I knew they didn't REALLY want to know, so I'd just say, "Yeah, it's been wonderful." 

Not exactly a lie, but not the truth either.

And when she says that being with just her older kids would provoke in her a nostalgia so intense she thought she might perish. Well.......we've been there. 

Let me clarify.....we have NOT experienced the things that this woman has experienced. No....Cooper's transition has been much less dramatic. However, easy is not a word I'd use. 

Neither is "seamless". He still sees the "seam", and that brings our attention to it regularly. Grief and insecurity manifesting themselves in various ways in a family is hard. Hard to deal with. Hard to watch. Hard to be patient with. Hard to process. Just hard- mostly emotionally. The kind of hard that very few people take the time to see.

You tell yourself it will get easier with time, and I think it will. But what I have experienced is that it gets harder before it gets easier. Because somewhere over time, the child becomes YOUR child. 

When something hard is happening to a child, it's hard to watch (or read about), and your heart goes out to them. 

However, when it is YOUR child, the child you have over a period of months fallen head-over-heels, deeply in love with, your heart positively breaks. Watching your beloved child walk through grief and loss and having the courage to get up and face it new every day takes a vast amount of emotional energy. But, when they don't trust you enough to let you in? When they are grieving so hard you think you might get swallowed by it too? When their insecurity about your love for them and/or their place in the family manifests itself in very, very challenging behaviors? When it breaks your heart that they are insecure about your love for them and you wonder if it will always be that way?

It's not easy.

That is life "after the airport". 

I'm so thankful for the refreshing honesty of this woman who had the courage enough to write about it. It made me feel normal.

October Giveaway

OK, so I think I missed September. That's moving's fault!  I'll make up for it in November!

For now, I'm going to giveaway something that you can't get anywhere.....right now.

Just to be clear, I can't get it right now either. But, tomorrow, we ALL can get it. 

Tomorrow, Casting Crowns is releasing their new CD, Come to the Well. I don't need to listen to it to know I'll love it. However, over the last few weeks they have made previews of the songs available to listen to on their website, and I was blown away. 

First of all, they rerecorded one of my all time favorite songs, Listen to Our Hearts, and are offering it as part of the CD if you preorder on iT*unes. (You can bet I pre-ordered it.....I would have anyway, but that was a sweetener for sure!) 

Secondly, there is a song on the CD called So Far to Find You that so perfectly describes what I have learned on this adoption journey- in a way that only another adoptive parent can fully understand.  I started crying the first time I heard it. I'd try to describe it to you, but my friend Tara already did a great job in her own post. All I have to say after that is, AMEN!

All of Casting Crowns CDs are excellent. I enjoy the music, but better than that, it encourages and challenges me in my walk with Christ. I can already tell this new CD will be no different. I can hardly wait till tomorrow. 

Casting Crowns songs were also very much a part of our adoption story. God used several of their songs- particularly Voice of Truth, Somewhere in the Middle, and The Altar and the Door- to speak to my heart at times in the journey when I was fearful, scared, and in need of a boost for my faith.

Anyway, I'd like to share the joy and encouragement- and Casting Crowns' new CD, Come to the Well! This is going to be a short giveaway entry window- just over 24 hours. If you would like your very OWN copy of Casting Crowns CD, just leave a message here telling me what you just love listening to these days. 

Make sure you leave your message before midnight EST tomorrow (Tuesday, October 18th). I'll pick a winner Wednesday morning!

But, me? I've preordered the CD on iTu*nes, so I'll be listening to Come to the Well on my way to the office in the morning! I'm exceedingly thankful that new CDs are released on Tuesdays which also just so happens to be one of only two days a week that I am in the car alone for 20 minutes (40 minutes if you count the drive home)!

It's the little things! :)

The REALLY Big News Around Here

Noooooo......not that kind of news.

No, the REALLY big news around here is that my kids' two favorite people are getting married!

This is my sister, Jess.

This picture is appropriate because my kids think Aunt Jess is a rock star. First of all, she lives in LA, and did you know the Jonas Brothers sing a song about LA? Well, they do, and that means LA is the place to live. Coolest place on earth as far as my kids are concerned.

Aunt Jess also works for a very special Mouse.

I'd dare anyone to try to beat that.

Oh, wait.....someone does: Ric.

My kids think he's the funniest person they know (much to Scot's chagrin). Sawyer in particular thinks he oozes cool. I mean, he's cool just because, but when you add in that he's been IN an Indiana Jones movie (for like 1.5 seconds, but who is counting? Not Sawyer), well.....that tips the scales.

Then he played a washed-up boy-band member in an episode for the Ni*ckelodeon show Big Ti*me Rush.

Aunt Jess who?

Suddenly Aunt Jess was out-cooled.

Of course, he became one of my favorite people shortly after that when Sawyer went to school and told all his friends that his "Uncle Ric" was on Big Ti*me Rush. They all gave him a hard time and insisted he was making it up. Sawyer came home really upset, and when Ric found out, he sent us this e-mail with some pictures attached:

"I heard Sawyer was having a little trouble with his classmates.  Go ahead and print these out for him, and tell him I said to shove these pictures in their faces and yell "burrrrn!".  (or maybe you wanna water that down so it's actually a positive message)."  

Yep, that's Ric in the purple, and Sawyer was BEAMING the next morning on his way out to school.

Ever the great "uncle".

(Oh, and just recently, as if he needed to seal the deal as coolest guy we know....he won an Em*my. Oh yes he did.)

So, how excited are we all that we can now remove the quotation marks and very soon Ric will officially be Uncle Ric!

We're thrilled for them. They are a great couple and we really, truly love and enjoy them both. They are great to the kids (our kids and our niece), fun to hang out with, and let's face it......when my life consists of washing dishes and soccer mom duties, it's FUN to live vicariously through them! It's fun to see people you love do fun things and be recognized for their hard work. We love to brag about them! They also make it easy! :)

Besides me and the kids thinking this is awesome, Scot is pretty psyched to have another guy in the family (I have two sisters).

The fact that Scot thinks Ric is hysterical and Ric thinks Scot is hysterical is also a bonus! There will be no shortage of laughter with these two around!

So, move over William and Kate.......around here, this is the wedding of the century!

Now, if Chloe can just convince Jess to get married in Cinderella's castle.  :)

The News from Here

It's been BUSY here lately- school starting, packing, moving, unpacking. 

News of the new house coming soon. But, first, some other stuff:

When Cooper first came home, you may remember that he really didn't like Chloe. AT ALL. Like, wouldn't acknowledge her. Interact with her. Be kind to her. Nothing. Sawyer? He was a rock star. Chloe? Not so much.

Thankfully, we have seen MUCH improvement on that front. Sawyer is still the rock star in Cooper's mind. But, his relationship with Chloe has grown. I think that maybe their relationship will always be angst filled. Or maybe that will wane over the years. Who knows?

All I know is that they have what seems to be normal sibling issues now. Sure, there are still moments when Chloe is intentionally mean to Cooper, I think often to remind him that she can be. I know she still remembers the hurt she felt by his rejection in the beginning well. I often think now that she tries to kind of make him "pay" for it sometimes. 

But, a majority of the time, especially when Sawyer is at school and the other two are home, they play wonderfully together, sing and dance, read books together, and basically enjoy each other. That is WONDERFUL progress, and food for my soul.

Now, this is not an uncommon thing to see:

In the beginning, Chloe's kiss would have been met with a shove and a nasty look. Now, it's well-received and often returned. 

They've moved from angst most of the time, to normalcy most of the time! It took a lot of hard work, but I'm thankful to be here! 

Oh, and when I ask them to make a silly face for the camera, this is what I get:

I think it is HYSTERICAL that Chloe has a million silly faces, and Cooper has just the one! :) But, the warmth between them in these pictures is NOT posed. It's real, and it was hard earned. I'm thankful for playful moments like these that remind me that time (often paired with hard work) heals so many wounds!

In other news from here, among all the craziness, we've also managed to have some FUN. One of our favorite singers is Josh Wilson.  We had the chance to go see him in a concert at a local church here and there were only about 100 people there. It was an awesome night. Copper asked the whole way there (I mean the w.h.o.l.e. way) if he was going to sing "Dear Money". Well, he did, but since Cooper fell asleep after the first song, he missed it.

We did wake him up in time to meet Josh after the concert though! It was great to be able to tell him  in person what a blessing his music has been to our family!

The following week, I took the kids to the "Music with a Mission" tour. We were SO excited about this because we have been wanting to see Hawk Nelson in concert for a LONG time, but it just had not worked out. Well.....this was our chance. They were headlining the concert and SuperChick was opening for them.

Or so I thought. Turns out, there were like 8 or 9 bands, and Hawk Nelson was on last. We did get to see SuperChick and we enjoyed them even more than we thought we would. Chloe even got to meet the girls from the band (the SuperChick's themselves) which was extremely exciting for her!

But, Chloe fell asleep about 3 bands from Hawk Nelson coming on (after 9:00pm), and by 9:30pm, Sawyer was asking me if we could please go home so we could sleep.

So, we ended up missing Hawk Nelson after all.

Note to self, read concert info more carefully next time! :)

So, we've been keeping busy. But, we're ready for a little boring and hum-drum around here for a little bit!

Deep Thoughts by Sawyer

Sawyer to me: "When I grow up, I want to travel all around the world visiting orphanages and taking care of the kids who have no mom or dad. Can I make a life doing that?"

Me: "That would be an extraordinary life."

Sawyer: "No, I mean, can I like, make money doing that?"

Me (bubble burst): "Oh. No.....not so much."

(I did however go on to explain the idea of raising support, so his dream isn't entirely dead. Just on life-support! ;) )

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Recently, the kids and I (mostly Sawyer and Chloe) had what has become a pretty typical conversation in the car. They asked why parents would EVER have to give up their children. Some friends of ours are fostering to adopt, and the question came up about the little girl's parents. I explained some various reasons that make it difficult or impossible for parents around the world to appropriately care for their children: poverty, drug abuse, jail, illness etc..... (we just lay it out there around here). 

A few minutes passed, and then Sawyer said, "I wish Cooper was still in China with his birth family."

Me: "Why is that? You don't like having Cooper in our family?"

Sawyer: "No, I like having Cooper in our family. I LOVE it! I just wish he didn't have to lose his birth family in China. It makes me sad that he lost them, and I'm sad that it will make him sad when he realizes it."

Me: "Me too, buddy. Me too."