Birthday #2

When Cooper's birthday rolled around, it was during a bad week for me. LOTS of stuff going on, and not a lot of time be be all creative with the party theme.

Cooper is O.B.S.E.S.S.E.D. with Cars (with a capital "C"). Lightning Mc*Queen. Finn Mc*Missle. You name it. He loves it.

I liberally feed his obsession because a) I'm a complete sucker for him and b) I might be a recovering Cars-aholic myself. I decline to say more about that, but suffice it to say, the cars don't buy themselves. With Sawyer, my excuse was "potty-training rewards". I have yet to find my excuse for Cooper. Does "I think he's wicked cute so when he asks for something small I can't refuse" count?!?!?

I digress.

On the afternoon before the party and the morning OF the party though, I felt a bit guilty that I had not come up with the personal touches for Cooper's party that I had for Chloe's party. So, I quickly whipped up some things.

And, I was even impressed with myself- maybe I haven't lost my innate ability as a teacher to create something pretty cool out of nothing in a very short period of time. It also helped that I've seen the movie and read the books nothing short of a billion times.

First, I printed the signs I knew I wanted to use off the internet. I have NO idea where I got these pictures. I literally used a search engine to find what I was looking for and printed off what I liked. No time for bookmarking.

I put a sign over the goodies table to make it into "Flo's V8 Cafe". (As you can see, I purchased a banner for Cooper at his request. Have I mentioned I'm a sucker for him?)

On the goodies table, I brought back the apples and dip after it was a huge success at Chloe's party. This was even more popular with the boys I must say! I put some cones from our home-made "Cozy Cone Motel" around it just for fun.

My favorite thing was our "Casa Della Tires" plate. Also a huge hit!

For refreshments, I had two options: Fillmore's Organic "Fuel" (water or juice)..........

 (I got the "fuel" labels at GwynnWassonDesigns on Etsy. I highly recommend her shop. TONS of stuff, well done, quick service, reasonable prices. I literally purchased the labels less than 24 hours before the party and had the bottles totally ready to go 2 hours after purchasing them! Awesome!)

.....OR "Allinol" (soda), the Official Fuel of the World Grand Prix (in Cars 2).

I put the goodie bags in an actual army footlocker that my Father-in-Law has restored for each of the boys with a sign designating it as "Sarge's Surplus Hut".

As an added bonus, I got the Cars Pe*z dispensers for $0.75 each after Christmas! AWESOME!

I set up another coloring station with printables from the official Cars website.

 And, of course, had a place where the boys could all play cars to their heart's content! This was by far the ht of the party!!

As for a cake, Cooper is all about getting the "same thing" as the other two kids. So, he immediately nixed my plans to make special Lightning McQueen cupcakes and instructed me to go to the grocery store and buy a cake "just like Chloe's" (meaning he wanted a store-bought cake form the same place Chloe got hers).  So, this is what he chose:

I guess it saved me time anyway, and it was cute. 

In the end, I was VERY happy with how it all came together, the guests had fun, and Cooper was beaming! It was a wonderful way to celebrate all things Cooper! 

Happy birthday, Buddy! I don't think I'll ever stop praising God for blessing us with you! You are indeed very wonderfully made, and a precious gift from God to our family!

Birthday #1

Now that I got that off my chest, time to talk about the FUN stuff!

I don't love having two kids with birthdays closely following Christmas (and closely following each other). There is no post-holiday lull around here. When Christmas is over, we rip down the decorations to create the illusion that there is some time between it and Chloe's birthday. When Chloe's birthday is over, we move right into Chinese New Year, and usually DURING the CNY celebration week, Cooper's birthday arrives.

Last year, we were newly home from China, and I was still having day-long headaches. We kept everything to a bare minimum. This year, however, I really wanted to give the parties some attention and make them special in small ways.

When Chloe said she wanted a "Tangled" party, I knew EXACTLY where to turn for inspiration: Rebecca. I've read her blog for a LONG time. Long before either of us brought our children home from China, but recently, I have LOVED her blog for a whole new reason- she provides me with ENDLESS inspiration. These days, I am inspired by her fun, intentional, easy, creative kid-friendly ideas on almost every topic on a near daily basis. Seriously, you should bookmark her blog- you'll be glad you did!

Anyway, when Chloe said she wanted a Tangled party, I remembered Rebecca's post about the Tangled party she threw for her daughter. SO.....I clicked over and had enough ideas to make an AWESOME Tangled party for Chloe. (I'm not going to re-link all her links. If you want to know where I got all my ideas....just head over to Rebecca's post! :) )

First, we made some super-cute party favors. (We spent a couple "Friday Mornings with Chloe" doing these together.)

On the day of the party, we set up a few different stations where kids could have fun. They could be an artist like Rapunzel:

Or they could read a book (or maybe two or three) in the reading area. Scot thought this would go largely unused by party guests. I'm happy to report, it was more popular than coloring! :)

All books chosen by my kids.

We also played "Pin the Nose on Flynn Ryder"- that was the biggest hit of the party!

Of course, the menu also reflected the movie: guests got their drinks, (root) beer of course,  at the "Snuggly Duckling" pub,

we "repurposed" Maximus' favorite treat, apples, by slicing them and offering chocolate and caramel dipping sauces (notice we served them in a frying pan....also Rebecca's idea....genius, I tell you!),

But the biggest hit of the party treat-wise, were the "Boats on the Lake". All the adults loved how they looked, all the kids LOVED how they tasted! :) Score!

My creativity stopped at building a cake tower, but when the woman at the local grocery store said they did not have a "Tangled" themed cake, I wasn't sure what to do. She said, however, that she thought she could make us something we'd really love. She'd seen the movie and was willing to create a design entirely her own if we'd trust her. "Sure thing", we said! She did not disappoint!

All in all, it was a really great day. I enjoyed putting together some creative touches with Chloe to make her party special, and Chloe had a GREAT day!

After this party, I had just enough time to rest up and plan for Party #2. Details coming soon!

Lucky Boy

Oh, I have so much to catch you all up on....birthday parties, and other fun things.

However, tonight, I feel like writing about this.

If you are an adoptive parent, you get some version of the "lucky boy (girl)" comment all the time I imagine.

If you are not an adoptive parent, the comment is something like this, "OH, he's such a lucky boy!" Sometimes they'll add that he's lucky to be part of our family or to have been adopted or whatever.

Now, we (adoptive parents) know what people mean when they say that. However, we just don't see it that way, so it's one of the comments that makes us most uncomfortable (and some adoptive parents downright irritated).  I can explain why another time, but check out this small insight from a great post over at We Are Grafted In:

Please don’t make saints of the adoptive family – There are many more families now making the choice to adopt to grow their families for reasons other than infertility. Amen! But, don’t praise the family by telling them how lucky the child is to have them or how wonderful they are to rescue this child. It can be pretty uncomfortable. And, that type of praise actually can be harmful if said in the presence of their children—biological and/or adopted children.

Generally, I am able to understand why people say this, and formulate some kind of response that is tactful and something that hopefully educates them. Recently though, I had a "lucky" comment that downright floored me, left me speechless, and really, really mad.

I was having a simple conversation with a woman who interacts regularly with Cooper. She was asking about his health, and I was saying how excited we were that he "graduated" from twice yearly cardiology visits to just annual visits.

She responded by telling me what a lucky boy he is.

I started to respond by saying, that no, WE are the ones who are blessed.

But, then she interrupted me and said, "No, I mean he's just SO lucky that he was born with that heart condition, because it allowed him to get out of that awful country."

For. Real.

I paused because a) I was literally stunned speechless and b) to give her a second to rephrase that in a way that didn't make me want to scream at her.

She didn't rephrase. In fact, she went on to say, "You know what I mean? Think of the life he would have had compared to the life he has now."

In one fell swoop she managed to say how awesome it is that Cooper has a heart condition, insult his birth country (which we love), and completely minimize the loss and hurt Cooper has experienced in his  life suggesting that living in America outweighs all that.

I have no idea how I responded to her. All I know is that I willed myself to be courteous (because I suppose it was the right thing to do AND there were several other women in the room), and I ended the conversation.

Here is how I would have liked to respond:

"Really? Lucky to have been born with a serious, life-threatening heart condition? Lucky that that heart condition is likely the reason his birth parents felt they had no option but to abandon him? Lucky that he lived in an orphanage for 13 months before undergoing open-heart surgery without a mom or a dad to stand vigil, hold his hand, and care for him as he recuperated? Lucky he has lost his birth parents, his beloved foster family, all his friends, his culture,  his language, and everything that has ever been comfortable and familiar to him and had to adapt to a whole new life that is completely foreign to him? Lucky that he grieves those losses daily in various ways? Lucky that he sometimes sobs because he misses China so much?

Really?

If that were you child or grandchild, just how lucky would that seem to you, I wonder? In what universe would a child who has gone through that be considered lucky?"

Or maybe:

"Yeah, seriously. Being born with a life-threatening heart-condition is such a blessing sometimes, huh? Especially when it results in you losing absolutely everything important and familiar in your life and having to start over completely when you are just about to turn 4. Yeah. He's livin' the dream alright."

You might be wanting to say, "But, Jenna, you know what she means."

You know, maybe I used to. But, what I'm saying is that once you adopt a child, you are acutely aware of the loss that child has experienced and the deep, deep hurt that causes them. In no way does any of that seem "lucky", and someone saying he is lucky because of it seems ignorant, thoughtless, and insensitive.

Am I thankful that he now has a family forever who will love him and walk with him through every bit of that hurt?

Yes, I am.

Should the fact that he is in America and in our family negate all that loss and hurt and grief and make him feel "lucky"?  No.

If my parents died in a car crash shortly after I was born, I was discovered to have a major illness requiring major medical intervention to survive, I lived for a couple of years in foster care and then I was adopted to a (loving) family in Singapore because there was no family for me here in the US, would you say, "OH, what a lucky girl"?

No, you simply would not.

I'm not saying you should say, "Oh, that poor boy (girl)" either. We don't want our kids to act like, be treated like,  or be seen as victims. I'm just pointing out how ludicrous it sounds to say a child is lucky simply because in the end they ended up in America.

And saying a child is lucky to have been born with a life-threatening condition? It doesn't matter "where you are going" with that comment. Shut up.

As for insulting my child's country of birth? Please just don't. We happen to love China, and while it has it's issues (just like the United States I might remind you), the people there are beautiful and our son is one of them. When you insult his country, you insult him and us. I feel like this should be obvious. But, in case it is not, there you go. Keep your thoughts on international affairs to yourself.

Thankfully, this was an over-the-top comment. Not one I will likely get again. I dare say I don't know many people who would be so bold or thoughtless as this woman was.

Hopefully this experience left me more prepared to answer the next question or comment- whatever it might be. I'm thinking it can't get much worse than this!

And, if you want to pray that I can be as successful at taming my tongue next time, that might not hurt either.